Yes, I Somehow Decided To Let This One Leave The Privacy Of My Inner Thoughts
Last night I had a strange and random dream laced, of course, with elements of reality and surreality. The other day I left my Ipod at the gym and somebody obviously needed it more than I do, so we are no longer...a team. This is really the only factual aspect of my dream. What ensues, is the majority of what I can recollect.
I knew that I had insurance for my Ipod (which is not true in real life, damn) and so I went to the insurance company. Of course, the "insurance company" was just an old decrepit lady sitting on a fold out chair in the middle of a hallway. Naturally this utter lack of professionality made perfect sense in my dream. I began to explain my loss to her when she informed me of a fee, a $400 fee. Immediately I was unimpressed, like lady, nuh uh. My whole Ipod didn't even cost that much so why would I give YOU money? What the hell is insurance for?
But instead of being assertive and explaining the absolute ludicrousness of her insurance policy, I decided to do something I often do [unsuccessfully] in real life; be funny. So, as the old woman stared at me waiting impatiently for her $400 I cracked a joke.
"Uh OK I'll give you all that money...(I paused for added effect while looking around me to warn everyone of the comical bomb I was about to drop) right after I kill somone!"
Somehow, in my comatose state, I linked murder with exorbitant profit AND decided it would be an acceptable joke for an elderly insurance claims employee. I suppose I was thinking of murder in terms of hitmen (or women) on a commissioned type basis, but still, my utter disregard for appropriateness continues to traumatize and transcend even my waking moments.
I believe the worst part, though, was not the rude old lady, the steep fee, or my lack of tact, but that as I looked around to take in all the laughter and collective appreciation for my comedic genius, not a single surrounding person was laughing. Or smiling. Unfortunatley, even in my dreams I am painfully, demonstrably unamusing.
I knew that I had insurance for my Ipod (which is not true in real life, damn) and so I went to the insurance company. Of course, the "insurance company" was just an old decrepit lady sitting on a fold out chair in the middle of a hallway. Naturally this utter lack of professionality made perfect sense in my dream. I began to explain my loss to her when she informed me of a fee, a $400 fee. Immediately I was unimpressed, like lady, nuh uh. My whole Ipod didn't even cost that much so why would I give YOU money? What the hell is insurance for?
But instead of being assertive and explaining the absolute ludicrousness of her insurance policy, I decided to do something I often do [unsuccessfully] in real life; be funny. So, as the old woman stared at me waiting impatiently for her $400 I cracked a joke.
"Uh OK I'll give you all that money...(I paused for added effect while looking around me to warn everyone of the comical bomb I was about to drop) right after I kill somone!"
Somehow, in my comatose state, I linked murder with exorbitant profit AND decided it would be an acceptable joke for an elderly insurance claims employee. I suppose I was thinking of murder in terms of hitmen (or women) on a commissioned type basis, but still, my utter disregard for appropriateness continues to traumatize and transcend even my waking moments.
I believe the worst part, though, was not the rude old lady, the steep fee, or my lack of tact, but that as I looked around to take in all the laughter and collective appreciation for my comedic genius, not a single surrounding person was laughing. Or smiling. Unfortunatley, even in my dreams I am painfully, demonstrably unamusing.
posted by lowercasecarmen at 1:50 PM
2 Comments:
I wish I had such trivial problems as losing an ipod, god life is sooo hard on me. (no but seriously, that blows)
Clearly dream insurance companies are just as messed up as real live ones.
Post a Comment
<< Home