Friday, January 19, 2007

I'm Gonna Go A Little Bill Maher On Everyone

Hey UBC students, NEW RULE:

You know those two roundish shaped things on your face above your nose? Yeah eyes, use them. I know it sounds crazy and unnatural but here's an insane idea, LOOK IN THE DIRECTION YOU'RE WALKING! See now, some might think that I'm being slightly ridiculous in telling people to do this, but apparently it's just not an activity that students do naturally. A lot of people consider this to be quite an unconscious practice, but there's a fair chance they're among the non-university student population. It's really not all that difficult either, sort of a point and shoot mentality.

But in true optimistic fashion so foreign to my routine cynicism, I have high hopes that this is just a phase. Ideally these people will graduate and realize that such blatant demonstrations of mental retardation are not accepted in the real world. I could always reinforce these sanctions, or well, "encourage" them by clotheslining each one I see on campus.

That's right, WWF was very educational back in the day.


Blogger REAL said...

I have seen this before and I know they cause. These people are radical skeptics. They do not believe that their sensory input can be proven to be true - and therefore they do not pay attention to it. This of course happens at college campuses more often then other places due to the numerous philosophy classes.

6:57 PM  
Anonymous m said...

Je t'aime

7:01 PM  
Blogger screetus said...

Hey you could start driving a forklift around campus. That would be cool.

12:07 PM  
Blogger murabit said...

can you make an exception for bad weather, say looking down to shield my face from the wind and rain?

in any case, i find myself having to be alert walking in bad weather, having to dodge the shower of umbrella points.

12:07 AM  
Blogger MilliVanilli said...

OMG carm, I hope you don't get mad at me for completly copying you...:)

6:45 PM  

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