I love love love Paul the intern
If MTV were a person it'd be a meth head who sleeps on your couch, eats your most expensive food like organic pears perhaps, and then throws bits of paper in your hair as you try to write that 10 page essay on Mesoamerican mortuary practices. Every once and a while, in the greatest depths of their meth high, they start trying to hump your leg and simultaneously recite the 9's times table. 9, 18, 27, 36... If the annoying/consuming factor is carrying through to you in this analogy then, my god, you are perceptive.
Sometimes I wish that university was less like the modern distraction fest that it is, and more like it was in that one room school house in "Little House on the Prairies". Truth be told, I hated that show and thought that those girls were far too dense and sheltered, never understanding at the age of 9 that their apparent naivete was a side effect of generations of inbreeding. I think that was the underlying moralistic message on "Little House on the Prairies", don't sleep with Uncle Dad. Anyway, I figure the biggest challenge students face today is trying to resist watching shorts of people getting punched in the nuts on the easily accessible YouTube while sitting in their afternoon Religion lecture. Or maybe that's just me.
As of late school has decided to take a dump on me. Let's just say, if school was a person, it'd be one that takes dumps on people. Ok, not my strongest analogy. I know that in the grand scheme of things I have absolutely nothing to complain about, but considering the hardest thing I've ever had to endure was going to school the day after my grade 5 crush found out I liked him, copious amounts of homework with pending exams seems like a looming omen of death in comparison.
Is it bad that I have nightmares of drowning? Or dreams where I have visions of essays dancing in my head? Or an abnormal desire to peace out on a magic carpet?
I need a pick me up, when the hell is that busty Nigella on next?
Sometimes I wish that university was less like the modern distraction fest that it is, and more like it was in that one room school house in "Little House on the Prairies". Truth be told, I hated that show and thought that those girls were far too dense and sheltered, never understanding at the age of 9 that their apparent naivete was a side effect of generations of inbreeding. I think that was the underlying moralistic message on "Little House on the Prairies", don't sleep with Uncle Dad. Anyway, I figure the biggest challenge students face today is trying to resist watching shorts of people getting punched in the nuts on the easily accessible YouTube while sitting in their afternoon Religion lecture. Or maybe that's just me.
As of late school has decided to take a dump on me. Let's just say, if school was a person, it'd be one that takes dumps on people. Ok, not my strongest analogy. I know that in the grand scheme of things I have absolutely nothing to complain about, but considering the hardest thing I've ever had to endure was going to school the day after my grade 5 crush found out I liked him, copious amounts of homework with pending exams seems like a looming omen of death in comparison.
Is it bad that I have nightmares of drowning? Or dreams where I have visions of essays dancing in my head? Or an abnormal desire to peace out on a magic carpet?
I need a pick me up, when the hell is that busty Nigella on next?
posted by lowercasecarmen at 7:02 PM
5 Comments:
Hahahaha!
If school were a person, it'd be one that takes dumps on people! That'd be true if school were a pigeon too.
hahaha... well done well done
i read your story in the paper today too; CP is such a pig haha
if MTV were a person it would break your radio.
sometimes i wake up in the morning and feel relieved that i am done school...at least for a while.
ha ha ha, uncle dad, catchy
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