It's All About Perspective
Everyone will inevitably have that one class in their semester that they'll think of as their "suicide class". It falls smack in the middle of the afternoon so that the lecture hall has had a chance to become a perfect incubator, the kind that renders you defenseless to the persuasive powers of sleep. As you nod off and dream about Mexican donkey's that just wont go in the direction you want them to no matter how nicely you ask you'll start to hear a voice talking. But wait -- It's the donkey talking! What is he saying? He's trying to tell you that 10,000 years in hell is really not all that bad compared to eternity. Pretty smart for a donkey you think. Then you realize that the donkey has been sleeping, you've been sleeping, and that was actually you're crazy prof who said that. Tap, tap on your shoulder, it's your turn to check off your name on the attendance sheet.
Yeah that's right, I'm "present".
Eventually you'll have to wake up and sit through the whole other hour of class. The suicide part refers to the last unendurable hour. Oooh that last hour.
My suicide class has really been kicking my ass lately. I decided yesterday while sitting in the agony of that class that there is one thing that ends up getting me through it each week. My prof is a real whack job and I imagine he sits at home and meditates with a plate of boiled cauliflower sitting beside him. Why cauliflower you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask because you don't care and you're speed reading this between sips of your mediocre coffee at work. Regardless, its cauliflower in my mind because that's what you eat if you figure you'll reach enlightenment; you don't need flavour because the escape from the cyclical process of eternal life suffering, death, and rebirth far surpasses hot sauce.
Anyway, what gets me through is when this whack job comes out and says the most random quote that makes me (and only me goddamnit why does no one else in my class laugh?) laugh.
Yesterday he said that being reborn as a squirrel wouldn't be that fun. No wait, he stood and thought for a moment.
"I think it would be ok! Yeah yeah, a squirrel is just fine."
Yeah that's right, I'm "present".
Eventually you'll have to wake up and sit through the whole other hour of class. The suicide part refers to the last unendurable hour. Oooh that last hour.
My suicide class has really been kicking my ass lately. I decided yesterday while sitting in the agony of that class that there is one thing that ends up getting me through it each week. My prof is a real whack job and I imagine he sits at home and meditates with a plate of boiled cauliflower sitting beside him. Why cauliflower you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask because you don't care and you're speed reading this between sips of your mediocre coffee at work. Regardless, its cauliflower in my mind because that's what you eat if you figure you'll reach enlightenment; you don't need flavour because the escape from the cyclical process of eternal life suffering, death, and rebirth far surpasses hot sauce.
Anyway, what gets me through is when this whack job comes out and says the most random quote that makes me (and only me goddamnit why does no one else in my class laugh?) laugh.
Yesterday he said that being reborn as a squirrel wouldn't be that fun. No wait, he stood and thought for a moment.
"I think it would be ok! Yeah yeah, a squirrel is just fine."
posted by lowercasecarmen at 8:49 PM
7 Comments:
I heard that half the oak trees in this town are there because some squirrel forgot where they buried an acorn.
So on that level, that would be kind of neat to tell your squirrel-friends: 'see that big tree over there? yeah, that was my acorn number 561, turns out I'd forgotten it three winters ago.'
I have a night class in econ that kills me, two and a half hours of government fiscal policy.
BTW the background color of your blog does this crazy color shift on my lap top, it is really cool.
mine is the mandatory fourth year class (and it is an evening class)...the prof actually passes the attendance sheet around once before the break and once after...but if she didn't make participation mandatory no one would come so I don't really blame her.
I don't think your prof would want to be reincarnated as a squirrel that lives in MY chimney!! And by the way, I need your email address.
bullamoocow
i'm in that class right now..... they're reviewing how to make a bibliography for the 1.8 billionth time in my life!!!! please kill me... (and i have a shit load of your stuff and vice versa i believe)
i'm in that class right now..... they're reviewing how to make a bibliography for the 1.8 billionth time in my life!!!! please kill me... (and i have a shit load of your stuff and vice versa i believe)
i'm in that class right now..... they're reviewing how to make a bibliography for the 1.8 billionth time in my life!!!! please kill me... (and i have a shit load of your stuff and vice versa i believe)
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