The Future Looks Promising

My school is very big. Now, when I say big I mean huge, gargantuan, bloody enormous and of all the kajillions of people in my massive school, I had to get that ostentatious douche kid in my english discussion class. I really don't even have a problem with that many people, but I swear to god, when that guy uses his heinous baby voice to describe his current mood my body goes into convulsions that almost match the nagging twitch in my eye. Today we had to do the generic "Tell us your name and an interesting fact about yourself" and well, as you may have guessed, his interesting fact didn't disappoint.

"Well I'm frighteningly..." he paused and closed his eyes for added effect, he inhaled deeply and then continued "...FRIGHTENINGLY obsessed with China." He lingered on the second "frighteningly" and my eyes started rolling back in my head uncontrollably.

I looked around the class, hoping for a look of understanding from someone, but found nothing. Between the girl who gave "dancing" as her interesting fact, and the guy who gave "I didn't eat breakfast", there was very little hope for mutual, bonding hatred over China man.

We got into a discussion about the discrepancies between fiction and non-fiction wherein China man had to make emo-I'm-a-typical-arts-student comments. I had too much rage cursing through my cynical, critical veins to spaz, so I let him duke it out with the ballerina. In retrospect I quite like the ballerina.

China man decided to say that when he has to suspend his disbelief in non-fiction, like he might in fiction, he thinks that the author has failed at his or her job. Please for the sake of my sanity, envision that last sentence being spoken by the most pompous, annoying, ENRAGING afroed freak. I'm really one for impersonations, so these words just tend to fall irritatingly short of the justice I could do to him. Anyways, the teaching assitant tries to tell him that it was a good point (lie) but is interrupted by the ballerina.

"Ok wait a second," she says, perplexed as she tosses her perfectly highlighted hair to the side. "What do you mean by "suspend disbelief"? You lost me there."

At this point I'm looking around the room frantically, not understanding how everyone didn't burst out laughing, but I try to remain poised as China man responds.

"Well, take Lord of the Rings for example. You have to believe that in the realm of the fictional story, hobbits really do exist. If you don't accept that, or if you question it, the story will never be "successful"."

The ballerina ruffled her brow and I could see the bright neon lights reflecting off her glossy lips.

"Hobbits?"

And I was afraid I wouldn't make it to university. Hah.