I Just Really Didn't Need That
Last night Allan and I decided to walk back to his place, across the Granville street bridge as the sun set, instead of taking the proletariat chariot. After passing the sign that reads "Side walk narrows" Al started to grasp my hand a little tighter.
"Are you afraid of heights?" I asked mockingly.
"No. I'm not afraid of little heights, just big ones." he retorted.
"Ummm, I think that's called being afraid of heights. If it's too little it's not really considered a height."
"No I can handle four stories, just not like ten."
"Oh I see. Well I doubt we're near ten and you're looking a little pale."
"I'VE WALKED HERE A MILLION TIMES OK!"
I burst out laughing because he was squeezing the blood out of my hand and looking so enraged. He told me to stop laughing because all the people driving by would think I looked stupid, crouching down, trying to stop myself from peeing my pants. I couldn't help it though so I laughed until I had some tears in my eyes and then decided to hold his hand again and continue our walk.
"So my roommate told me that he's been using my toothpaste for the past two months."
"Oh christ. Oh god this is horrible. Do you think he was waiting until you were moving out to tell you? Like hey, you're going so now would be a good time to fess up."
"No, I don't even think he was timing it like that."
"Seriously Al, I had moments in your bathroom, contemplating whether or not I should use it for fear that this exact thing would have happened. BAAAAH! You know looking the thing over, wondering, HOPING that he wasn't such a douche."
"I thought it was going down a little too fast."
"He better not have herpes," I spat out as another germ accident jogged my memory. I had dropped my cell phone on the PUBLIC washroom floor the other day and almost fainted. I looked at the little piece of technology, the germ infested ground, and considered just leaving it there. Could I, Carmen, really pick that up? I guess the answer was yes, but a very difficult yes.
It just about killed me. Then I was the one holding on a little tighter; from rage rather than fear of heights.
"Did you know Cecil's was a strip club?" Allan asked.
"I dunno, doesn't surprise me."
"Are you afraid of heights?" I asked mockingly.
"No. I'm not afraid of little heights, just big ones." he retorted.
"Ummm, I think that's called being afraid of heights. If it's too little it's not really considered a height."
"No I can handle four stories, just not like ten."
"Oh I see. Well I doubt we're near ten and you're looking a little pale."
"I'VE WALKED HERE A MILLION TIMES OK!"
I burst out laughing because he was squeezing the blood out of my hand and looking so enraged. He told me to stop laughing because all the people driving by would think I looked stupid, crouching down, trying to stop myself from peeing my pants. I couldn't help it though so I laughed until I had some tears in my eyes and then decided to hold his hand again and continue our walk.
"So my roommate told me that he's been using my toothpaste for the past two months."
"Oh christ. Oh god this is horrible. Do you think he was waiting until you were moving out to tell you? Like hey, you're going so now would be a good time to fess up."
"No, I don't even think he was timing it like that."
"Seriously Al, I had moments in your bathroom, contemplating whether or not I should use it for fear that this exact thing would have happened. BAAAAH! You know looking the thing over, wondering, HOPING that he wasn't such a douche."
"I thought it was going down a little too fast."
"He better not have herpes," I spat out as another germ accident jogged my memory. I had dropped my cell phone on the PUBLIC washroom floor the other day and almost fainted. I looked at the little piece of technology, the germ infested ground, and considered just leaving it there. Could I, Carmen, really pick that up? I guess the answer was yes, but a very difficult yes.
It just about killed me. Then I was the one holding on a little tighter; from rage rather than fear of heights.
"Did you know Cecil's was a strip club?" Allan asked.
"I dunno, doesn't surprise me."
posted by lowercasecarmen at 8:51 PM
9 Comments:
Oh man, do I hear you about the cell phone!
I just froze, it was horrifying. For a split second my eyes became microscope lenses and I could see every microbiotic bacterium. Essentially I'm the sanitation superwoman.
if you hate germs that much, take a lesson from Invader Zim. a suit made of fast food restaurant meat is your best friend.
I would be angry at my self for dropping my cell phone. My cell phone is like my child, and you wouldn't drop a child on the floor would you?
Oh, and it is not a fear of heights, it is a fear of falling from heights.
you should carry one of those mini bottles of germacide or whatever its called, I do and use it a lot.
patz - I don't know who invader zim is but he sounds pretty awesome. Fast food restaurant meat is top notch, as food or otherwise.
real - child dropping is actually a hobby of mine. A (secret) hobby.
marnsickle - the only problem is that I think I'm lowering my immunity to germs. I'm slightly crazy.
in the book of lists, fear of heights ranks the second highest fear amongst humans. believe it or not, public speaking is first. ranking before other fears such as death, deep water and illness...pretty odd.
Book of lists? How intrigueing.
i think to have the fear of hights is just common sence. I bet people with fear of heights die alot less from falling off stuff. And those are odds i can deal with.
Invander zim is a funny animated show, we should watch it, ive only seen one epesode,zim goes through a test to decide who his friend will be, and stuff. it was clever.
anyways, its more of a caution.
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