All The Friendly People You Meet

To the:

Old man on the bus: Why did you ask me if the girl beside me was my sister? I don't even think you were curious, just senile. Your pee bag was a little off putting. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

Young boy walking by: The pleated pants suited for a man twice your age were strange. Your white polo shirt and no nonsense glasses made me instantly see you as a spelling bee participant. You were very serious, S-E-R-I-O-U-S, serious.

Little girl running and screaming (in a gleeful way): I liked the hat that seemed to be made out of purple fur. I got a little bit jealous watching you and desperately wanted to be running and screaming too. You know why I envy you? Because you're carefree and don't have a job. You know why else? Because you wear purple fur hats. Rock on.

Bus ticket I bought today: You are so expensive. Bite me. With the dough I fork out, I generally expect you to be made out of organic recycled paper derived from thai bamboo. I'm guessing you're just regular paper though. Sigh.

The talkative customer: I did not know that rats in Italy like nutella, and rats in France like butter. I feel, however, like a whole new person now that I do. Thank you.

The melodramatic blog post: I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.