I Eat Pieces Of Shit Like You For Breakfast
You eat shit for breakfast? Yes I'm using a Happy Gilmore reference as filler.
I was giving someone their change today at work which, as it turned out, was only 1 cent. Yeah that's right, so insignificant that I can't even find the symbol on my keyboard and am forced to write it out with bulky, inefficient, horribly time consuming letters. The horror. The inevitable situation with pennies is the "Are you a cheap-o or not?". It's always slightly awkward and everyone has a different approach. Like, do you say "Hey do you actually want the 1 cent?" or do you give it to them and have them look back at you with the "Are you kidding me, do I look that cheap?" Either way you seem to lose, and being the fairly apathetic employee that I am I generally just go for the laziest option which is simply handing the customer the penny.
Today I followed suit like always and a woman gave such a disturbingly hearty laugh upon eyeing the change I was returning to her. She looked at me, then the penny, then back up at me while her laugh reverberated off the building walls. The laugh came from such a deep part in her being and it spoke.
"That's the same refuse that litters the bottoms of all my garbage bags and makes them so heavy for Maria to take out. What, do you actually have a use for those little copper tid bits? Look at this eye lift bitch, it didn't come from no good pennies."
And then she actually took the penny.
I was giving someone their change today at work which, as it turned out, was only 1 cent. Yeah that's right, so insignificant that I can't even find the symbol on my keyboard and am forced to write it out with bulky, inefficient, horribly time consuming letters. The horror. The inevitable situation with pennies is the "Are you a cheap-o or not?". It's always slightly awkward and everyone has a different approach. Like, do you say "Hey do you actually want the 1 cent?" or do you give it to them and have them look back at you with the "Are you kidding me, do I look that cheap?" Either way you seem to lose, and being the fairly apathetic employee that I am I generally just go for the laziest option which is simply handing the customer the penny.
Today I followed suit like always and a woman gave such a disturbingly hearty laugh upon eyeing the change I was returning to her. She looked at me, then the penny, then back up at me while her laugh reverberated off the building walls. The laugh came from such a deep part in her being and it spoke.
"That's the same refuse that litters the bottoms of all my garbage bags and makes them so heavy for Maria to take out. What, do you actually have a use for those little copper tid bits? Look at this eye lift bitch, it didn't come from no good pennies."
And then she actually took the penny.
posted by lowercasecarmen at 11:41 PM
3 Comments:
...at which point I would have laughed at her!
she was totally an alien. come on, you take the penny for good luck, no matter how much you spent on fixing a stray eyeball.
where's the picture?
bullamoocow
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