This One's To All My Sisters Out There

Everyone knows that Erin Brokovitch won that huge case because of her knockers. She flirted with the guy at the water board and then she got the records that really screwed over the huge company. I think that was essentially the sub-theme of the movie; boobs make life easier. But do they really?

Sometimes, for doing nothing other than sitting and talking to your brother's girlfriend, you get some strange guy telling you to go buy yourself a drink on his tab. "Whatever you'd like." So you, and your friend go up to the bar, see the bottle of blue-ish stuff that's on its own pedestal, with its own set of stage lights focusing down on it, and you tell the bartender to make you the most insane drink with "that stuff". Mr. Generosity probably thought you were gonna buy yourself a beer, or an easy vodka and cran, but no, you saw his rings, and his strange art school glasses, and felt like showing him an equal lack of modesty. Plus, it is free for you, so why not go for the gusto?

Or when you go to rent a movie and you have forgotten your wallet. Oops, what to do? Don't worry the clerk says, "it's on the house." Wow, nice guy. Or did he have ulterior motives?

Guys are always complaining about how girls get stuff so easy, but I'd like to make it clear that we end up paying for it in the end. Some gender god is sitting high up watching us all and he sees those free drinks we get, he sees the freebies in general, and man, do we get a fat tab.

Yesterday, after having what every woman has to get done to her, a period of time in which you are VIOLATED, I felt that no man should be jealous. I was told to drop off my "tests" at the lab on such n' such a street, so I went, and let's just say the lab is on floor two, and I never went in the elevator. (My thoughts in brackets).

Me: Um I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know where people are supposed to drop of their tests?

Male pharmacy worker: Uhhhh, like blood tests? (I wanna get high)

Me: Er, no. Um, different kind. (Are you actually asking me this?!?!?)

Male pharmacy worker: Like what kind? (I reeeeally wanna get high)

Me: I uhh, had a physical? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. (I NEVER HAD ANY CONTROL IN THE SITUATION HAVEN'T I GONE THROUGH ENOUGH?)

Female pharmacy worker: Up on floor two, room 201. (He's never had one before...)

Me: (IT WAS ONE MEASLY DRINK!)