I think I might be rubbing off on him

Conversation with Allan:

Allan: hey you know that mole on my head, underneath my hair somewhere?

me: I guess so, why?

Allan: It feels swolen of something, I think I have cancer. Or maybe it's a zit under my mole and it'll give me cancer. I have cancer.

me: You don't have cancer Allan, zits are a lot different than cancer. Does it hurt?

Allan: Yeah, like a zit.

me: Cancer doesn't hurt so don't worry about it. Honestly Allan, I'm already hypochondriac enough for the both of us, please don't be one too.

Allan: Oh, I only worry when it's necessary. I don't hypo that shit baby, I'm just a chondriac.