Luck o' the Irish be with yeh

Oh how St. Patty's Day stirs up some old memories.

I can remember being in kindergarten, where I learned about several essential facts of life, and going out into the forest to find leprechauns. My teacher explained that not only were they hard to find, they were hard to catch, so we would need to be intuitive AND agile. I was kind of stuck up at the age of six, so naturally, I thought I could out smart and out run any of my other snot head classmates. I was so excited to bring home a miniature little person that would be just like my stuffed animals, only better because it would talk back to me. I understood very well that March 17th was the only day that leprechauns were visible to the human eye, and I wasn't about to let my opportunity slip away. Within two minutes of starting our hunt I heard a cry, my teacher had caught hold of one!! I raced to her, the adrenaline pumping through my little limbs, trying not to pee my pants out of excitement. All I could do was stare in awe as I watched the amazing hunter that was my teacher, fighting and struggling to keep the bouncing leprechaun contained in the paper bag. I knew I was about to witness something big, something that, quite possibly, would change my outlook on life forever-BUT THEN she screamed in horror and held up the still paper bag, simultaneously revealing to us all the big, fat, HONKING hole in the bottom. Regrettably, she informed us that despite doing everything she could, the leprechaun was simply to sly and cunning to be caught. I went home that day a little bit broken, a little bit scarred in a way that might never be repaired. It took me 8 years of therapy and a few good cries to realize that, no, there never was a freakin' leprechaun; only a senile teacher and a class full of gullible children. Sometimes I wonder what liar-face primary teacher is doing now?

Fast forward a few years later to the present day, myself as a university student walking around campus. I couldn't help but notice how many people were wearing green, had clover leaf hats on, etc. The general enthusiasm was pretty suprising. St Patrick? I don't even know what he did and yet he seems to have a pretty large teenage following. There were clover leafs and leprechauns spray painted everywhere in outbursts I might even consider festive. This coming from university students who I had thought were way too hard core to "conform to such a corporate holiday", but everything around me seemed to convey the opposite. Just as my naive confusion was consuming my every thought I looked a little closer and understood the excitement. Everyone was carrying bags. Heavy full bags. Bags with "BC LIQUOR STORE" blatantly written across them.